Most of us don’t have to search to find it. At any given point, we will open an app, turn on a screen, or flip open a cover and BAM. . . there it is! Success porn. It’s the “boss chick” in Louboutins schooling followers on how she made her millions. It’s the “relationship goals” power couple that’s building an empire, while raising a family. It’s the perfectly timed Mercedes Benz ad showcasing chic professionals and the suitors who chase after them because of their lavish threads and fine cars. They remind you of you . . . just with more money and of course more success. It’s even the meme’s encouraging motivated dreamers to “hustle”, “grind” and, worst of all, “sleep when you die.” That, my friend, is success porn at it’s finest.

Like real porn, success porn presents the fantasy. It shows possibilities that are completely different from one’s current reality and then stimulates an intense desire for more. Unlike real porn, which requires a bit of searching in order experience, success porn is far more accessible. It need not be sought out, as it is spoon fed to young Americans multiple times a day.

Success porn is EVERYWHERE, all the time, and it’s taking its toll on Americans; especially millennials.

One may wonder how viewing images of success could possibly be negative? Being motivated to achieve is a great thing, right? Seeing what we can aspire to should excite us to action. Right?

The issue is moderation. When we repeatedly see what we don’t have, images of success can become barriers to gratitude, mental wellness, and eventually progress. Combine the frequency of these images with a lack of real perspective (the internet only reveals what it wants to, rather than the full journey of failures and victories) and an individual will begin to wonder “when will it be my turn?” It becomes increasingly difficult to resolve that what we have is more than enough for our happiness. We fail to appreciate where we are in the journey of a well-lived life because we are only focused on the destination of “success.”

Could too much success porn be negatively shaping the way you see yourself? Could it actually be blocking your progress, rather than facilitating it? Here are some clues that you might be a (success) porn addict.

• You find yourself searching for hours on end about how to be successful, fix your finances, win at life, etc.
• You feel very unsatisfied with your portion in life, even though all of your basic needs are met and you have some form of an emotional support system.
• You find yourself comparing your situation to those of your peers. This often happens when you see posts on social media.
• You spend countless hours each week listening to success podcasts, engaging in webinars, reading blogs, or following “gurus” and coaches.
• You feel anxious or depressed when you think about your future.
• You often feel like you need to “get your life together” or you experience an extreme sense of urgency to change your situation, even though you know you’ve been doing the best that you can.
• You feel worse after engaging in social media

Not to worry, as humans living in the 21st century, we likely have all experienced some of these symptoms. However if you find that you’re experiencing a majority of them all at once, it might be time to take a step back. A social media fast may be helpful while you reassess how you can be grateful and fulfilled wherever you are in your journey. Taking a break from your podcasts, gurus, and personal development books may be the pause you need to begin appreciating where you are and what you’re currently doing.

Of course, if your success porn habit is really keeping you anxious or depressed, perhaps therapy or coaching can help. Contact us today to put success in its rightful place!

About the Author: Kaity Rodriguez, MSW, LCSW is the founder and director of Serenity Wellness and Therapy Services, located in Montclair, NJ. The practice was founded to be a haven for anxious perfectionists, stress-out high achievers, and those who struggle with self-esteem and confidence challenges.